Jesus , she started out rough. Born six months before Pearl Harbor . Her old man was fifty something when she came around. never supposed to happen. He had been gassed in the first war , it took a toll. Hell, he was already a veteran of some pretty nasty shit before THAT war even started. He fought with Blackjack Pershing . all through France, Belgium, etc. He didn't really have a choice . He was sent to Canada to fight ,because it was that or Australia after the Post Office Easter Uprising. Anyway , he was pretty dead inside for the next couple of decades, and sick as hell. So, she was a surprise. not a welcome one, either ,it seems. He loved her. doted on her. Her mother? not so much. And, as it turns out , she didn't mind telling her so.
So, some pretty awful shit early on. Samuel treated her great. Then, he took a bad turn and was gone by the time she was six. Venetia didn't have a problem letting her know what a burden she was. The living was hard. single mom, waitress at a shitty hole in the wall. Then, it got really bad. Venetia got sick. Hard. No other family here in the states. So, off to the orphanage she goes. it was Dickensian to say the least. You know what it was, I'm not gonna pile on. She got to say goodbye to her mother at least. In the consumptive ward of a charity hospital. Eight years old. They force her into a room to say goodbye. Her mother laying there, Blood coming out of her nose and ears. My Mother never got over that. How could she? So, now she's all alone. no family. She gets to spend the next ten years in ward of the state limbo. It's ugly. She settles in finally, at a widows place. Purely for the money. She gets it. .Prefers it to the humiliating orphan showcases she's gone through. And, through it all , she tells herself " someday, ill have my own family. I will love my kids. I will get through this " And she does.
She loves Rock and Roll. Saves her. She finds a family with the hoods and the greasers.She feels safe. And she is. Until she marries my father.
He drank. and hit. she left. in 1967 she was working part time at the psych hospital as a typist. Sister Assumpta took her under her wing. and told my mother life was to short,and precious to let me see that. A catholic nun .back then. amazing. Marcia got us out. worked full time.1.35 an hour. But, it changed everything. it sounds like a cliché , but I don't care , we were dirt poor ,but happy. we lived in a shack between the river and the railroad tracks. seriously, the river came into the house when it rained, and the tracks were no more than thirty feet from the front door. But, we had love. Lots of it.and Christmas. The first Christmas my mother ever celebrated was with my fathers family. she had never seen a tree inside before. Or presents under it. she was twenty. until the day she died, my mother loved Christmas like Scrooge after the visits. So, what im saying is, she got handed a bunch of shitty things early on.
Here's the thing....She was the happiest fucking person I've ever met.
Growing up, I hung out with greasers , hoods ,hippies ,black panthers ,migrant workers, hells angels ,rock stars , nuns ,priests ,doctors, Gay ,straight , blue collar regular Joes. and, I learned from them all. My mother didn't have the family she dreamed of to get her through hell. she got a better one. and, so did I.
My life ,up until this very second,has been filled with love and adventure and thirst for more. more knowledge,more people,more moving,more fun,more love. and still, I hear her voice " I think you should try that,and see what happens. you always do the right thing"
END
so, if you read this,i think of you as family. parts of this are going in the book. a little more fleshed out. I was just inspired to say something today. and I wanted to share it. this is just a love note ,I guess.its not for publication.but,i needed to tell a story,or go mad. thanks for looking.
